Ode to the Nice Guys

Thought of updating my Blog on Saturdays. Which i dint the last week. Had a wonderful time back home . Few things were missing from what i had in my last visit back home. Got used to the changes though. So was wondering what topic to choose for this week when i got reminded of this article i read about six months back. Wanted to share it with you guys. And almost forgot, Thank you guys for your support. Got lot of reviews for my last posting which made me feel good about what I'm doing. Last post was all about the girls so thought this time it had to somehow be about something very personal to me and something i like to be. A NICE GUY .

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

Hope you loved reading this article. I have something to say about this article which i would in my next posting.

Marriage Materials !!! But why ?

Its already been a week since i started writing on my blog again. It was a hectic week to be precise. I actually thought of writing various topics over the last one week. But just had a long and serious conversation with few of my friends and couldn't stop myself from writing about this. I recently read this book called 2 States written by Chetan Bhagat which had a very precise and crisp way of defining the scenario of how love marriages are handled in India. For those who did not the read the book this is how it goes.

"Boy loves Girl. Girl loves Boy.
Girl's family has to love boy. Boy's family has to love girl.
Girl's Family has to love Boy's Family. Boy's family has to love girl's family.
Girl and Boy still love each other. They get married."

All is well if it ends well. I'm happy if all lovers have a successful ending. But its much harder and tougher for a girl to pull of a certain love marriage. I might not sound straight with my gender over this topic. But i felt it was best to speak the truth and let people know how hard it is on the girls especially in India the way the entire society treat them.

So, why does a girl become a MARRIAGE MATERIAL ? Its hard to believe that in India, girls become a burden to their parents after a certain point. It is even harder to believe that most educated parents go to extreme ends to get their marriage material or may i say their daughter get married with in a certain age limit. I totally agree when the parents say that they've faced life much more than their daughter and they know what best is for her. But why then do they want to make her study and build hopes inside her to various heights of imagination if they were to do this someday. I would rather recommend child marriage over this. I seriously am bothered how many more girls from our country are going to throw their career ambitions into their kitchen sink for their parents happiness. As i mentioned in my earlier posting, Times have changed and people have moved on but why don't parents in our country start respecting their daughter and move on with her to make her feel special about having them. I'm sure lot of girls out their would be going through lot of frustration over the way their parents behave when they get to become the so called marriage material. This trend is going to follow until unless we the current generation do not change our attitude towards these things.

For those who thought i was done with my posting for today I'm sorry but its not yet done. I had to prove i was straight if not would have to face quiet a few rounds of criticism. So all that i wrote was about the girls who were not in love and their problems. So was i only bothered about the girls who were not in love and have only career ambitions ? Obviously not !. For those in love its even tougher to manage these stuff's . A guy who has a lover going through all this just has that bit of extra pressure and needs to settle down so fast that he has to give up even his career for the girl and what happens is a very awkward situation. Two people loose their career just to get together in life. And this again gets back to the point cause of this MARRIAGE MATERIAL tag people give to the girls in our country.I guess i've said enough about this . Cannot get way to detailed into this and get some bit throttling from my parents for this. So i should rather say let some Mobile giant start initiative called "Save our Girls" just the way Aircel started for the tigers. After all there are only 832 girls for every 1000 boys.

What's Changed ?

With this coming 23rd it would be three years since i posted anything at all in my blog. Thought may be i should revive my blogging activities. So what's changed over the last three years ? We have the same government ruling us, Our beloved APJ was replaced by PP, Dhoni took over the captaincy from Dravid and still is going strong, The list goes on. I've had my fair share of changes. I am a so called Engineer now. So where do we start ? Its been a long journey, the past three years for almost every single soul around. The most consistent thing in almost everyone's life has been change. And its very much evident from Lalit Modi's case that even change remains in your hands. If not for Twitter, Mr Modi would have been analyzing strategics for the players auction coming this july. How easy has it been for people to accept change ? That again depends on how open you are to changes. If you want to stick to your own world of doing things changes will happen so rapidly and suddenly that you fail to realize that your in a different world altogether. Change has always been good for people who have been ready to accept it but what remains is how we maintain our uniqueness and class in spite of those changes, One classic example for this would be our own SRT. Two decades of cricket and he has been through lot of changes. From a boy who used to come in as a finisher to a opener who holds the key to hold an innings together, and for those who said T20 cricket was not for the old legs he set things straight with his IPL performance that "Form is temporary but Class is permanent".

I've seen a lot of people having great fun when initially induced to some change and then fading out with it saying its become a routine. And there are other extreme sorts who over do things and then fall sick of the same thing. So what does one do with change ? Changes start to reduce in each of our life with time. As a youngster who is looking out for a career we might have many changes over the next few years and if we are not ready to accept it then god save you. As mentioned earlier you would be stuck to your own world and when you look back on your life it would seem as if you've just gone about things with least bit of interest on what your doing and each day of your life has been just another day . Most of us would have known the famous dialogue from Spiderman " With Great Power comes Great responsibilities",when you analyze the statement closer the change is what brings in all the differences whether you choose to have greater power or are self satisfied and happy with what you have, unless you are bite by a spider for other powerful things.

So where do we stand now ? Its our own choice again. Accept change good for you , People might start believing that you are capable of great things and if not you are just another guy who goes about his work. Now come on guys !!! How long would you want to keep doing the same things over and over again ? Life rarely gives you a second chance so go through things which you've never been through before , Enjoy changes and maintain your uniqueness.